no post module 1 interviews

So I consulted with my writing group peers. I felt there is just too much information than I can handle at this point. Even though I would love to interview some participants for a more direct and personal interaction about their experience, I just don't have the time and capacity to 1) conduct the interviews, 2) record in some fashion the content of the interviews, and 3) analyze the interviews. They all think it is fine that I don't do the interviews and I think so too. I will still see if I could talk to the instructor. I know he is very busy too but it would be meaningful to add his perspective of how class has been going.

Honestly speaking, the amount of content (class materials + online discussions) is as much as I can handle by myself. If I have a research assistant, maybe this is a different story. From the blogs I can tell that some people think the content could be beefed up, others think more interactions would make this a more meaningful experience. I agree with both yet I worry about how much I can take as a researcher.

sick etc

So Bil is sick today. I wish him speedy recovery. No interview and/or discussion today. We rescheduled for next week.

This is the inevitable of doing any research.

I wonder how and when will he send out the post module survey.

For me, I am actually quite happy with the last assignment of module 1. Even though not everyone has participated and not everyone is clear on what they have leaned in each category (Buddhism, discussion, and technology), I think there are a lot of good stuff there already.

I think I might not need the post module interview this time. Will consult my writing group peers for thoughts.

For course load, I think this is about right. Without everyone participating in discussing as is, I feel it is already a lot to digest. Once people are getting used this mode of communication, I think there will be more conversions and more to keep track.

Veteran day's reflection

http://www.uwestonline.com/laydharma//mod/forum/discuss.php?d=132
not sure what kind of response this will generate but I thought to bring "in" something "outside" of class discussion and give it a try

In light of Veteran day holiday today, I remember a news I read recently about that first Buddhist chaplain will soon be deployed to war zone

http://www.tricycle.com/blog/?p=1612

Aside from maybe the historical significance of having the first Buddhist chaplain in the military, many questioned if Buddhism is compatible with military service. You can see many comments on the page. There are more heated discussions on this issue through Tricucle’s Facebook page if you have a facebook account http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/tricyclemag?ref=nf

Thought to bring this up and see what you guys think

technology the enabler or the disenabler?

interesting to see so far two very distinct perspectives
KH seems to prefer f2f human contacts
http://www.uwestonline.com/laydharma//blog/index.php?postid=47

PL seems to enjoy every much the online way of communicating
http://www.uwestonline.com/laydharma//mod/forum/discuss.php?d=62&parent=501
http://www.uwestonline.com/laydharma//mod/forum/discuss.php?d=99#p362

what I learned - from Peers

http://www.uwestonline.com/laydharma//blog/index.php?postid=43

What is the most enjoyable for me is to read through all the insightful and some even funny (humor is always welcome) postings. I have to say that I think you all's level is way above me and I often felt I had nothing to add to what had already been said. What I learned the most were the questions you asked and the back and forth in exploring the answers. I appreciate the different view points and were sad when nobody responded to my post. It made me wondered why blush By reading the discussion postings, I felt I got to know some of you. I hope as the class progresses, more people gain confidence in online conversation and we will begin to see even more diverse exchange.

In conclusion, as a Buddhist, I enjoy this way of learning from peers. As a potential teacher, I see this as an effective way of learning! Technology again is the enabler to make this learning experience possible.

what I learned - Buddhism

http://www.uwestonline.com/laydharma//blog/index.php?postid=42

One of the motivations for me to join this class was to learn Buddhism in English. At the temple, (almost) everyone and (almost) everything is in Chinese. I find it extremely difficult to go back to the English world (which is where we live) to converse with others about Buddhism. I don't really have the local environment to systematically acquire Buddhism language in English until now. In addition, I was hoping to get a really good look at how westerners teach, discuss, question Buddhism. I am very happy to say that I certainly got what I wish for. For example, I find Dr. Long's lecture quite enjoyable, especially when he said things such as - how he relates King Asoka's pillars as modern day highway billboards. I have to admit that I did not read anything outside of the required videos and readings. But even with the videos, readings and ppt, I have acquired many English words and had a peek into how Buddhism is taught in the west. In conclusion, as a Buddhist, this has been a great refresher course. As a potential teacher, I say, forget it! I have a lot to learn still! Technology certainly is the enabler to make this learning experience possible.

What I learned - Technology

http://www.uwestonline.com/laydharma//blog/index.php?postid=41

I appreciate all the efforts that went into putting up a course like this. I like that all video lectures are broken down into smaller pieces and each piece is identified with its length. I also appreciate that ppt was made available. Something this small made a huge difference in my learning. I watched lecture 1 videos before the ppt was available and I felt the content just went by me like that. From lecture 2, with the ppt in front of me, I definitely can follow and actually enjoy the lectures much more.

This is the first time I have used Moodle and I have to say I am very surprised at what it cannot do. Here are some of my wish list.. cool

1. I wish either we can get an email notification when somebody posts something new or we can subscribe to an RSS feed for new updates. I find myself coming back to the forum only to find no new posting. This is not the most efficient way to check for new updates

2. I wish we can comment on each other's profile. There are no other opportunity for us to do so but I feel it could be a great way for us to get to know each other better and let us feel more comfortable at each other's online presence if we can interact "outside" of required discussion topic

3. I wish there is a way to see how many times a posting has been viewed. I often wondered if anybody read my posting when nobody has posted a reply. I wondered if people read it and they don't find it interesting (or may some other reasons) or people simpley did not read it at all

4. I wish we can actually comment on each other's blog posts. How can we interact with one another on the last assignment if we cannot comment on the post?

5. I wish there are places where we can socialize - chitchatting about things other than the required discussions. There are so many questions I like to ask and see how others have delt with it; there are so many current events that I believe are worth discussing, etc.....

In conclusion, I think I might use a different system if I were to setup an online group for studying Buddhism smile

no apology necessary

Out of blue, I received an email from LL today

I need to apologize to you, I remember you invited me to be in your group,I was so afraid of writing, I can even do the home work, but I do like to discuss Buddhism with you.

I emailed her back and said it is okay.

Maybe she will accept my interview. We can speak Chinese and maybe she can provide insights as to why she has been non active.

no meeting in Vancouver

Frank emailed me today to setup a meeting. I feel bad but I have already returned to Hawaii. I knew he has just moved so I really did not want to bother him too much. In addition, I fried my laptop so I was out of a computer to email. Maybe when I visit Vancouver next time, we can meet up. It is always to meet other Buddhists, especially now we have "met" online :-)

no show

No interview today. It was actually okay with me. With me leaving in 2 days for the conference, I have many things to take care of. No show is actually okay with me. :-)

individual project

So instead of doing a group project this early, when clearly some were still not ready for online learning, Bil changed the final project to an individual project. I think this is a GREAT idea!

For the final project, we are to write 3 blog posts, each with tags, to answer the questions of what we learned in Buddhism, through discussions, and about technology.

I feel the way the questions were asked thought out this class,  could be improved. Based on many postings I have read, people tend to write in a very general way. I often find myself wanting to ask - for example?

I wish the questions asked us to give specific examples. Otherwise I feel many people will again give very general, broad-stroke kind of answers.

But at least there is one question about technology that I can certainly use

Online Learning: More Than Technical Savvy

We posit that readiness for online learning has less to do with students' knowledge of technology and digital dexterity and more to do with their knowledge of how to learn and their motivation to engage fully in the process.
http://cgi.stanford.edu/~dept-ctl/cgi-bin/tomprof/posting.php?ID=974

True. Willingness can overcome shortage of skills. Skills can be learned but motivation is harder to cultivate, especially in an informal setting

tipping point

Okay, now I feel better; someone actually read my post and responded. Not only that, the response was quite interesting. Now this made me feel a little more socialable with this strangely formal community..

Formal in the way people write – very formal. Very few add anything personal, very few asked questions and people do not help answer any questions (e.g. http://www.uwestonline.com/laydharma//mod/forum/discuss.php?d=62)

added 11/7 - writing formal actually creates the distance between the writer and the reader

wish it was more social

So I asked what happened to the best-worst forum as the icebreaker activity? http://www.uwestonline.com/laydharma//mod/forum/discuss.php?d=41
Evidently it was turned into invisible to help forum clean. I don’t know. I feel so far that was the most fun activity. People shared stories and some were quite interesting. You get to know people that way. The other discussions have been quite restricted in the sense that the questions were asked in a narrowed way (in my opinion) without too much flexibility in directions. It is sad to see this best-worst forum go since it represented the best social interactions so far.

online as a place or as a support

1. Lack of human resources – need skilled helper
2. Other priority (e.g. assessment documentation) overtake time
3. Multiple responsibilities
   
4. Pressure to live up to the huge responsibility – Grace: we are responsible for our own learning
   
5. Phone calls to participants – reasons given:
   

busy, no time, busy with other family obligations – Grace: commitment issues
confusing at the beginning with too many emails

did not watch videos so confused

no concept of online learning

does not spend a lot of time online, e.g. not online after work, e.g. needs
to know how long it will take to finish each module, e.g. can finish during
lunch break

does not think of the Internet as a place of study – not culturally informed
this way, not engaged this way, no concept of community outside the “required”

bus driver doesn’t want to drive when he is on vacation - life style not
include the Internet – after work, done with the Internet

consider the Internet as a support of study (this is where I get the
materials) rather than a place of study (this is the place to study)

technology is more than just type the paper on the computer but also want to
break away from the computer, does not want to be always on

what is their relationship with computer?

1. Maybe pull back group project

Holding back my participation

Reason 1: I am not sure how to answer this week’s discussion question. I might just ask my own question and provide some personal reflection

Reason 2: I was quite vocal the week before on discussion. I want to see more clearly how others interact. Once I start posting, I get involved in the discussion itself, not the research. It is hard to be both – a participate and a researcher

much better with the PPT

I have to admit that I was very lost when listening to the first lecture. Unfamiliar content plus no written material made the learning difficult. I asked for the PPT and it was made available. However, I never went back to lecture 1 due to time constrain.

Today I read the reading and listened to lecture 2. With the PPT in front of me, I felt I was more in tune with the lecture and actually enjoyed it this time. Something as small as just putting up the PPT can make a big difference in learning. Talking about universal design!!!

Because I had the PPT in front of me, and maybe the contents are something more familiar, so maybe I was more at ease while going through the lecture. I actually clicked on all the links leading to additional materials. However, I did not actually read any of them. I wonder if anyone in the class did. Maybe this could be a good post-class survey question.

Some observation about the reading material – very dry, academic writing style, suspect not very accessible to general readers

Some observation about the PPT – very busy background, interesting selection of the Buddha statute that resembles a westerner – good choice!

PLE

I was reading Curt’s new book the World is Open this morning and read about PLE – personalized learning environment – how in the world of web2.0, each person can personalize how we like our learning environment to be. To me, it is all about options, choices, and flexibility. I can see that the initial orientation week daily email did not provide flexibility nor choice. I felt forced to take this step today and that step the day after. Or maybe it is just me, who likes to be in control of my learning – when, where, how, etc.

While reading this book, I also remember that I used to like the CoP framework. Maybe I can use that framework again for this research

Another observation is that the initial icebreaker activity about our best-worst experience talking Buddhism to non-Buddhist disappeared from the forum. I personally like things to be open and shared. It seems quite controlled to make them unavailable. I understand the need to un-cluster the forum. But I think the way to do it is not to make some discussion invisible. I may add that I think those are some of the best interactions I have seen so far

binge replying behavior?

From email we were informed about teacher’s recent illness. On the weekend, our absent teacher surfaced and replied to many discussions with very thoughtful feedbacks. I am impressed but can imagine the amount of work involved. However, such a “binge” replying pattern reminded me of one of my current TAs – she will reply to all students at once, after the deadline. I am not sure it adds to the richness of the conversations as much as it could if she does this throughout the week. Conversation by definition should be something that goes back and forth.

privileged voice?

Someone’s voice was privileged over others today, in my opinion. It is not good nor bad, just an observation. I also wanted to know if there is a way to get site statistics on replying and participation behaviors – e.g. how many replies per person, how many postings read per person, and how many log ons during a week by weekday. I also got to know that if I have a couple of students to help me observe the online discussion, it will be allowed. My students will be observers while I will be an active participant. My students will not participate.

Online question-asking behavior

In today’s writing group meeting, I shared with my buddies my very preliminary observation of the online conversations so far. I complained to them that I asked a question and nobody answered. I was not happy about that so I asked again by starting another thread. My buddies immediately reacted to what I said

First, they said this is unusual behavior. They said in a f2f class, if you ask a question and nobody answers, you shut up. You don’t usually ask again. This gets me thinking. Okay, maybe I am a little over aggressive in seeking my answer online. In a f2f situation, I probably can pick up people’s body language and tell that they either are not interested in my question or maybe don’t have an answer to it.

In an online environment, I couldn’t know. I thought it might be because my question was buried in the mass threads.

Maybe it was just that nobody thinks my question was interesting enough to answer. Maybe that is the case. But my buddies pointed out something interesting – how we might behave differently f2f vs online

highlights from today’s conversation with Bil

• Adding human factors to the online environment – making phone calls, letting them hearing the human voice, be responsive to inquires. Will start by asking questions.
• Teachers’ (current and future) technology level – a common problem I think, and an often overlooked factor in establishing an online program. Teacher’s online presence is substituted by Bil’s aggressive online presence
• Level of student interactions – those who are familiar with the online environment have been activity, motivated, and interacting with one another. There is about half of the “invisible” students who are not yet presence. Bil can see the site logs and know that they actually have been logging in and clicking on lecture links. Due to maybe English and/or technology limitations, they have not been participating. Another factor might be the unfamiliarity with the western educational system to speak up, question, debate, and be active.
• Pre-survey provided some insightful information, especially about people’s time commitment. Most people cannot only spend a very limited amount of time on this program.
• UWest is not investing too many resources into this program. As a one-person shop, Bil might be overworked and overloaded with all aspects of the program.
• Thinking about grouping and the next group assignment – want to mix different levels but consider geographical diversity

My reflections:
1. U West needs to invest more resources to ensure program success. Adding more program staff and provide teacher technology training are two obvious and immediate ones
2. With an open-door policy, a program likes this will have students coming in with different levels of English, technology, and Buddhism content knowledge. This is okay but how to scaffold so the entire community and move forward while each individual can find their own voice is a challenge

I changed to landline connection before the interview but the connection was dropped toward the end. Technology! What can you say?

So the teacher finally surfaced

On Monday, 5 October 2009, 01:29 PM (server time), Dr. Long finally posted his first and only discussion to the forum about the “best-worse” experiences. I find it interesting that it takes this long for him to “show his face,” and it seems to me that he did not read what everyone else has written. I am not sure his limited involvement was by design (maybe he is doing this as a volunteer) or other reasons.

I have enjoy reading other people’s postings. You can kind of tell a person’s online persona through their writing. I am sure I come across as someone very blunt as I ask blunt questions. That is okay. In real life, I speak my mind too :-)

orientation week: icebreaker?

Okay, we have to read a chapter from the textbook and watch about 30 minutes of a lecture video. Then we participate in an online discussion. All sound more than reasonable. However, this is going to be a very busy week so I don’t know when I will have time to finish watching the video.

I was waiting for the icebreaker activity to happen over the weekend. I guess Bil has decided to not do it. Or maybe he felt the best-worst discussion serves as one. I am still wondering about how to approach the students about the consent form.

Orientation week: Syllabus received

I like what I see on the syllabus. So there will be some online discussions. Okay, I can handle that. There will be some online lectures. I will have to view them to determine if I like it or not. My prejudice is that I don’t like long video lectures unless the speakers are as engaging as those on TED. There is a group project. I am a little concern about it. It seems to be a big leap from the kind of step-by-step, very easy, low key technology orientation we have been receiving this week, to something that required not only team work but the production of a video. I am not sure what is the design behind this activity; I will make sure to ask Bil.

So far everything has been easy to follow, except they seem a little clustered. I attribute it to be the pilot first time around. I like that each orientation video is very short but I find myself fast forward almost all of it. I guess I feel I know the content but still want to view it to be sure. Typical online video watching behavior I assume.

Orientation week: Best and Worst

I like this sharing question - What has been your best experience when teaching about or explaining Buddhism to non--Buddhists? What has been your worst? Describe one of each!

Some very interesting stories have been shared online. I am very used to this kind of interactions so I can jump right in. I think several others are also seasoned online learners. However, I have also noticed that many students are still missing in action. I wondered why. Have they received all the emails sent by Bil? If so, what are the reasons they have choosen to be not active up to this point? I wish there is a way for me to know.

Here is my post to re-shared here

A couple of weeks ago I posted this on my Facebook message

Pain is inevitable; suffering is option by unknown → translation: Pain could be caused by external factors yet suffering is what you do to yourself.

The next day, I went swimming with a friend at the beach. She told me that she is a little afraid to go too deep out to the ocean because she had encountered a sea turtle just 3 weeks ago and she was so scared by that experience. She has been telling me this in the past 3 weeks during our weekly swim. So I looked at her and asked, is it really that little turtle that has caused you all this suffering? She smiled right back at me and said, I know, the turtle might have caused my initial pain but I am doing this to myself.

I laughed so hard. It might not be how I would relate that quote to this situation but I am thrilled that my friend found a way to apply my Facebook message to her life situation.

Fast forward to a couple of years ago.

I had just entered graduate school and people were curious why I am a vegetarian. Innocently I started to say how cows cried before they were slaughtered. I did not even finish the first couple of sentences, my advisor, whom I deeply respect, angrily in almost a yelling way, interrupted me and said, no, they do not and they are meant to be raised and eaten.

What I learned is I have to say to people of what they can accept. My advisor is a farm girl and she raises animals to be slaughtered. What I was about to say completely contradicted her belief system. So the most common answer now I give to almost anyone is – this is trendy, did you know that being a vegetarian can help reduce a ton of carbon foorprint in a year? If you are a vegan, up that to 2 tons! Most people are impressed and then we can have more conversations on how to do it and why.

orientation week: Small hiccup

Bil sent another email today to delay the next orientation activity. I can imagine the work involved in putting put a class for the first time. Funny I took yet another peek at the pre survey results today. One person evidently is very skeptical about the benefit of an online class. This person expressed his or her concern by sharing, “I am not sure that you can really teach anything online. But, I hope I am wrong about this.” Great, at least this person is open-minded about the possibility. This person went on to share that “I think that it would take so much time to do an online course properly that it is not possible to do that and conduct research.” It is so true that it takes a tremendous amount of time to get an online class ready. I often wish I can teach face-to-face more since I can have all the content in my head without having to digitalize all of them in advance and post to class BEFORE class! Yes, I understand the concerns very well.

Let’s see if this certificate program will move on smoothly and let’s see if and how an online community is formed.

Orientation week: pre survey

Bil has been so great in supporting my research. Today, orientation day 2, he managed to ask participants to fill out the pre survey as today's orientation activity. Clever.

As I was filling out the survey, I found it funny that I actually had never taken an online class before. Hmm... so this will be my first. How about that! This might also explain why I keep wanting to find more functions on the class website. I guess I am used to be the administrator of a course site than a student. The way the site is setup, there is not much I can do. Okay, be fine with it.

A couple more people have uploaded pictures. I took a quick peek at the survey. I guess I am the only Buddhism novice in this group. That makes me a little bit nervous. Okay, be fine with it.

Invited Bil and Dr. Long to participate in my research. Will have to think about how to approach the students. Do not want to make this a "big deal" for them and to stir up any confusions

Be content!

Orientation week: "Learning Together"

So orientation started today.. I followed a link in the email and arrived at the course website.. Take a look at what I saw when I first arrived.

First impression: As I "walked into the classroom" sort to speak, I thought to myself, clean and very "Buddhism" like :-)

My Facebook profile picture finds another place to reside. I uploaded my picture, added a couple of my interests - for a moment, I thought I am the most boring person in the world - what do I like to do during my spare time.. Or a better question is, when will be my spare time.. Well trained through the education system, however, I managed to put up something semi interesting

A quick browse of the participants. Many have also uploaded their pictures and added their interests. First impression: a lot of artists, musicians, writter, philospher "kind of people" Cool...I never got to be in a "flock" with cool people. Thanks to this class, now I am the "in" crowd! That is what I am talking about!!!

One thing I noticed - there is a link on the upper left-hand side of each page that takes us directly back to the home of the certificate program. It reads "Learning Together" - that is a great spirit of community building

One thing I do not personally like is the very strict follow-me-step1-step2 approach. It is too restrict for me as I would prefer a little more flexibility in receiving information and acting on it. However, I can see this also be a great scaffolding approach to ease people into the online environment and the community.

Remember from my Vipassana retreat where I was saying to a college kid - there is only one "first-time experience." I will never have a "first time" when I return. As young as she was, she said something so insightful to me that I still remember to this day, "but there is always the first second-time, and the first third-time" So I am expecting my new "first time" experience on every encounter of this class!

Orientation week: Stars have not yet lined up

It is not easy to start something new. It is not easy to start something new online. It is a lot of work to get all things lined up to kick off an online class. I know.

9:30am Hawaii time, Bil's first email arrived. I am nervous and excited that the certificate program orientation has started. We will receive detail information about how to log on to the class website. They changed the textbook as the one they picked is out of print. Now there is a new textbook. I will have to go down to the center and see if they have a copy.

12:33pm Hawaii time, Bil's second email arrived. Evidently they have encountered some technical issues so the orientation will start tomorrow instead of today.

I understand as it is a lot of work to get everything lined up. As a pilot program, it implies this is the first go around too. It is always harder to get a new thing started.

I have a lot of patience in this since I know. I hope everyone else shares the same sentiment. However, I do wonder what impressed this delay has made on the students?

Ukulele lesson: feel the space in between the notes, don't rush, rest when seeing the rest notes
Life lesson: feel the space in between things/events/people, don't rush, learn when to let go

a long drawn out process but was done!

okay, I have to admit that I did not appreciate this very long and drawn out process of getting all the parties to agree, all documents to be ready, submitted, approved, and everything in between. Yes, I do remind myself from time to time, just live the moment and do what you should. Pain is inevitable while suffering is optional. yadi yada yadi yada. Let me just say, I am so relieved that this has finally come to an end, for now.

9/21 9am: appointment with IRB. She suggested some verbiage changes and praised my consent was well drafted

9/21 4pm: spent the afternoon making those changes; reminded myself that they need not be perfect, just presentable and passable; submitted the final 2 copies to IRB

9/22 9:30am: received Bil's reply email; requested two clarifications

9/22 9:00pm: came back to my office after a fun Ukulele class and made the changes requested; emailed the file back to Bil; did not want to drag this any longer than necessary

9/23 9:30am: received Bil's reply email again; I was conditionally approved; requested for the consent letters and UH approval; emailed the 3 consent letters right away; will email the approval once received; wish this is over by now

9/24: UH IRB approval email received; (final letter received on 9/30); scanned and emailed to Bil; still waiting for UWest's official memo indicating their approval and support of this project

This process took way more time than I expected. But I suppose this is just like any other thing in life. When things start to take a life of its own, you have to follow the flow and go with it.

Maybe I should remind myself again why I am doing this? I could have just be a student and enjoy the class... Oh, yea, I will enjoy the class. However, if some research can come out of this, both UWest and myself can benefit. Okay, keep that in mind. Tedious in-between, little stuff. Dont' sweat it!

appointment made

I quickly berried myself into the final revision of the IRB package after my weekly Friday morning ocean swim. From the peer feedback yesterday, I know I need to also create a list of proposed interview questions. Searching backup files from back in my doctoral-student time for examples. Not a hard thing to do as qualitative research likes to keep the door open for allowing emerging themes, or as my method advisor would say, when things bubble up to the surface. I cleaned up everything, created three slightly different version of the consent forms, updated the 1-page description, added the interview question. Printed 2 copies, signed. Done.

I called the IRB office and made an appointment with them on Monday morning to walk over my application before final submission. The program is about to start in 2 weeks and I want this to be ready for it. Things are moving along.

I feel the stress in meeting deadline I set for myself. How can we function without man-made deadlines? I was listening to a podcast the other day and the subject was "doing nothing." As an unenlightened being, I will not be able to survive this brutal world if I do nothing.

Or maybe I just did not understand what "do nothing" meant.

peer feedback

I worked hard to finish my memo to UWest. It is really a brief proposal on my research idea. So today during our weekly writing group meeting, I presented the memo, together with the complete IRB package (forms, consent, 1-page description) to my peers.

As usually, my peers gave me extremely valuable feedback on my memo. It is funny that I promote peer critique in my own class but am so pleasantly surprised when I receive insightful feedback from my own peers, as if I wasn't expecting this method to work. There are some writings that need clarifications, and some arguments or assertions need to be re-written to avoid controversial. There were parts that I knew was not quite there and there were some questions that helped me look at my writing from the readers' perspective.

After class tonight, as exhausted as I was, I decided to go ahead and make all the changes suggested to me. I tell myself that this memo does not need to be "perfect"; it only needs to be presentable. With that in mind, I actually finished the revision and sent it off to Bil.

I felt a great sense of accomplishment. I still feel awfully a lot of time has been spent on documentation and the "real" stuff has not yet to begin. But at least tonight I sent the memo out, signaling another landmark made!

Be content with what you can do given the circumstances. Is seeking perfection like chasing after a moving target?

research proposal draft

Met with Kelly to go over my proposal to University of the West. It is amazing how much time it takes to write something less than 3 pages. I teach a masters-level research class that includes literature review and proposal writing. It is a hard subject to teach and a hard thing to actually do. Teaching this class really has helped me in my writing and it is also the case here. I know the general components of a research proposal and I can do it. It just takes longer than I expected…

The biggest feedback from Kelly today - the project is huge based on my proposal – narrow it down if possible. I cannot have agreed more.. I wanted to narrow it but not sure how to narrow a qualitative research. I don’t want to limit myself to the point that I cannot be free to explore any emerging themes. But at the same time, I do not want to make this another dissertation work. I need to work very smart to produce publications quickly and productively.

Is desire always a bad thing?

feeling positive

Had a productive chat with Bil this morning. As expected, he was ready to answer my questions. I let him talk most of the time. I can tell from his enthusiasm that he had put a lot of thought and planning into the program. It is not my intention to interfere with his design at all. I obtained some clarifying answers: the class Moodle site will be active and accessible throughout the program, synchronous sessions will be recorded, time commitment issues is considered and some content has been moved to “further study.” The introduction of technology will be gradual and probably will be all within what Moodle could provide. There are only around 19 registered and about half Chinese half Americas. This is actually a great news to me – the diversity of the group makes this program more interesting and hopefully my research more lively as well.

Do we easily feel happy when things are going our way?

meeting postponed

That is cool…no rushing, no pushing, just let things happen or not happen

While waiting to talk to Bil to clarify several points, I drafted a pre program survey. There are too many questions for sure but I put them into categories so hopefully Bil would pick, choose, add, and delete to fit his needs as well. I actually consulted two online survey regarding Buddhist websites. Funny that I saved these two a while back thinking I might need it one day. Sure enough, I at least had something to look at when I drafted this survey.

The five categories are: demographic, Buddhism background, motivation, technology background, and online learning experience. I finished the survey with some open-ended questions about concerns and things they like to share.

I hope Bil will incorporate the survey into the program.

Disappointment only occurs when you have a fixed, inflexible, unchangeable expectation.

Program description

Today I received a word document with more detailed program plan. I am quite excited to read it as the program seems pretty interesting. Some top concerns as of now:

Time requirements – seems more than I realized but this might be just me

Content – since the program starts from the basic, I wondered how those contents would be innovative enough to not be the “same old.” In addition, I asked how the assignments/activities are aligned with the learning objectives.

Technology – not exactly clear how and what technology will be used. It seems at this point the only constant technology is Moodle and the discussion forum.

Bil would like some of my feedback. As I am having trouble typing lately, I gave him some feedback via Word voice comments. I asked a lot of questions about the integration of technology and the tools they will use. I am sure he probably already has most of the answers. I am anxious to discuss with him about this.

Above all, I think I have a better idea to be able to write up a proposal.

Counting blessings today. For anything, big or small, to occur, it requires all the elements/factors/conditions to intersect. Observe the arising and falling away of all the conditions. Most importantly, without the cooperation of people, nothing gets accomplished. Counting my blessings! Counting, counting, counting.....

A mixed bag

I spoke to several people about my research idea – at this point really nothing concrete but along the line of characteristics of this program and its members.

1. Betsy – hesitate to encourage me since the “subject” area is religion but encouraged me to talk to more people


2. Curt – do what my calling is and forget what everyone else is saying (but he forgot I am untenured)


3. Mimi – sounds like a very interesting project – focus on the technology integration part and down play the “religion” part to eliminate any “concerns”


4. Michel – be very careful to blend personal interest and professional obligation; a lot of time, your colleagues don’t need to know how you live your life outside of work


5. Kelly – Grace is about how can extend access to education through technology – so how can this add to that border view?


6. Sarah – sample size too small, program evaluation is applied research that a lot of people do not even consider it a research


7. DiDi – should be able to choose my research topic, make sure I actually can get some publications out of this; otherwise don’t do it since they don’t provide funding for me
   

I continued to struggle with this research idea – to do or not to do? If to do, what would be my research question and how can I frame it in such way that will not raise too many eyebrows (religion)?

I feel the pain of the unknow; I wish I know, today. But I also remind myself that suffering is optional. Do what I can and let the rest arise as they do.

It is a go!

Today I finally had a phone conversation with Bil, who is the coordinator and designer of the Lay Dharma Certificate Program. I expressed my interest in conducting a research on the program. Luckily, Venerable Yi-Hong had helped me speak with Venerable Jue-Wei and obtained her initial approval. Bil seemed to welcome this research idea as well. I hope there will be a productive collaboration!

A note to remind self: Pain is inevitable; suffering is however optional. Use this research process as my practice to learn to let go of what is not for me to control, enjoy the unexpected, and be at ease with the flow.

Maybe a new beginning?

I heard about University of West's Lay Dharma Certificate Program from the temple here in Honolulu. Honesty, my initial thought was - nice, another way to get some Buddhism training. I have decided to register for it and make this a research project at the same time. How will this work (research and personal enrichment) - we shall see.

Are we always more motivated when we have something from which to gain?